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Originally Posted by greyface5555
Here's what I do to smoke cigs/pot when my parents are home. I have no bathrooms with windows and at night my house makes a lot of creaking noises (lots of stairs and hardwood floors) so movement could wake my parents up. So, I'm forced to smoke in my room "after hours."
A lot of this stuff you've heard/know already. I find it refreshing to type it all out, and it might be handy to someone, so here goes...
My parents hate the fact I smoke cigarettes (in fact, I lied and told em I quit) and could not imagine what would happened if they discovered me with pot. Therefore, my own secrecy takes priority to getting high. It's sad, but I'm a sheltered suburban boy... I really have no alternative. I absolutely cannot let myself be caught for all that is holy/unholy/whatever-the-hell-you-believe.
What I Do:
1) Your parents should be ASLEEP. Wait 'til their out cold... either snoring or 1 hour after they've retired and the bedroom TV goes off.
2) Only smoke on floors above your parents' room if you can. Same level is riskier, and basements are FORBIDDEN. Door closed. Locked. Window open. Cloth curtains as far removed from window as reasonable.
3) Turn on any fans that are reasonably quiet. Cieling fans rule, those big squarish ones (which I haven't seen in a decade) not so much. (too loud)
4) I lean out my window when I smoke... I'm in a suburban neighborhood, and my window is on the side of the house, so only 2 other homes are in plain view. This may be difficult if you live in an area with dense housing or with neighbors who stay up late all the time. If you can lean out a window DO IT... it'll save you 1573458 hassles when dealing with the smell. The nice thing about pot is the smell doesn't linger like tobacco... unless your room has a white cloud in it the stinks will be gone in the morning without chemical help.
5) I store my pot in a baggie, then I place that and my pipe in a freezer bag. I then place that bag in another freezer bag with a few dryer sheets. Completely smell-proof to humans, can be wadded up to the size of a baseball, and could appear inconspicuous at first view. Hide it in a spot that no one would bother looking. I hide mine in a box for computer parts. If your hiding spot is a place where a ziploc bag would not be suspicious, I can almost guarantee you it won't be discovered.
6) Keep Fabreeze handy 24/7. Spray everything that's cloth at the first hint of smell. Sometimes you won't notice it RIGHT after a session, it's usually the next day when I realize I need it. I have to do this just about anytime I use tobacco in this way.
7) I find cover noise (soft TV/music) to be distracting... mistaking news reports for people at my door and drum beats for feet on stairs. Just be silent, lights out. You're sleeping. In fact, open up your bedsheets. Smoke in your pajamas.
8) Have an emergecy protocol. If someone knocks at your door, you can be fumbling with plastic bags/glass or metal pipes/windows/squirting purfumes/what-have-you. Have a contigency hiding spot RIGHT NEXT to where you smoke. My guitar amp is right next to my window... it has a hollow back and I store my empty bags in it while I smoke, and I can toss everything back there if I hear a knock. Another nice thing about pretending to sleep is you have justification for ignoring the first few knocks.
9) If you do hear a knock, that's bad news. You did go through all this trouble to prevent this, ja? It's never happened to me, though if it did, on my way to the door I'd walk through a cloud of Fabreeze, and only open the door about a foot. Stand in the opening and field questions... the room will be dark, and hopefully (if they think you were sleeping) you will only have to field a few quick questions before they leave. If a neighbor comes outside, try not to be seen. Put out the bowl/j quickly and duck inside. Hope they didn't see you, or are cool if they did. Don't mention the scene to anyone. I wouldn't try smoking again for a while. Hope they forget. Time is your friend. (My neighbor saw me with a cig hanging out my window today, in fact! Oh, tobacco, of the evil leafs there is no equal!)
10) Minimize your need to clean up while stoned. I find worrying about junk everywhere ruins my high... I like to be chilling in front of my TV within one minute of smoking. Clean up and put all your weed away before lighting. Hide everything not immediately needed for smoking. I usually just drop everything back into the bags in my amp for the night, and move it back to my permanent hiding spot in the morning.
11) After I'm done, if I smoked a cig I stowe my butt in a nearby gutter temporarily (until I can flush it down the toilet) but if the only evidence is ash I just let it fall. If there's any reason ANYONE would be snooping around the parameter of your house... DON'T SMOKE OUT YOUR WINDOW! Don't do it out a window above mail boxes, meters, air conditioners, whatever... the people who work with these things make a living snitching out potheads.
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Damn, that came out long. I want to hear some other good ways to smoke at home.
That's how I do it at least. Sorry it came out like a book.
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