I've been chasing this feeling that feels so "right" for so long now. But it only exists within my mind. I can't seem to make it a reality. It's as if I have a filter in my mind--this filter is the compilation of all of the realizations that I've come to--and when I process my thoughts through this filter I create a new perception of life in the real world. Somehow I wish to ingrain this filter into my mind so that it becomes natural, which is what I can't seem to do. I realize that I've never done psychedelics so I don't know what it's all about, but I know you don't
need them to come to realizations, but I'm sure they provide some mind-blowing insight and emotions on a totally different level, so I look forward to that.
But the fact that I constantly use this filter to process my thoughts through makes things hard on my head. Sometimes I wish to just forget everything I've learned and just live, but I don't exactly like that idea either.