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What kinda beyotch wants to smoke crack? Have you met a cool crackhead? NO, BECAUSE THERE A FUCKIN CRACKHEAD!
::Blazes J to calm nerves::
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Dear Frederick, thank you for your nice letter, but I am actually a US Ranger who was born to kill whereas clearly you have mistaken me for some sort of wine-sipping Communist dick-suck. And although peace probably appeals to tree-loving bisexuals like you and your parents, I happen to be a death-dealing, blood-crazed warrior who wakes up every day just hoping for the chance to dismember my enemies and defile their civilizations.
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