Wow.. more replies that I had expected
Thanks everyone, it's really good to know that I'm not the only one who feels this way. And thanks expecially to Pot Geek, because that post was just fucking great. They say all you need is love, and I try my best to love as much as I can. Things are looking better for me as of late; I'm on the verge of a decently good promotion at work (after four fucking years, bastards
), I'm going out with my friend Jess, who is just awsome, and who I really care about alot (plus she's 21. score!), and those two things along are putting me in a much better mood as of late.
Jess told me once that I was sad alot, which is very true. I just think alot, and get depressed pretty easily, but I always seem to make it through to tomorrow.
It just scares me that someday tomorrow won't come. The more the days go by and the seasons change I'm coming closer and closer to accepting the fact that I will die. I mean, I know it's true, and I've accepted it as an inevetability, however I'm still so afraid of it happening. Nothing scares me more than the fact that someday I won't be around to watch the sunset, to laugh, to cry, to get lost in someone's eyes and they in mine, to do anything that makes life so great.
You shouldn't be pressured into wearing whatever is in style, or whatnot. Fashion honestly sucks and I for one do not give a bloody fuck about it. I wear Old Navy tshirts that cost 5$ each, have no logo except for the tag, and are all one color. I wear noname brand cargopants/shorts that cost roughtly 15$ each, Ive had the same pair of shoes for going on two years now, and my socks I buy at the grocery store I work at. I am extremely static in the choice of clothing that I wear and I feel extremely sorry for you if you feel that it's absolutely nessisary to buy a shirt that cost more than my cell phone bill. I have a 1986 toyota corolla, a computer that's from 1996 (133 mHz, woot!), and what I feel to be more empathy and compassion than most of the people that I've met. The best car, most money, most stylish clothes and the fastest computer don't even matter. You get where you need to go, do what you need to do, wear what's comfortable and look at porn.. well, faster and better porn is better, but that's not the point.
The point is nothing matters, so do everything. Make an ass out of yourself in public and laugh at the reactions of others. It's fun. Fall in love with someone you believe and
feel is worth your time and don't stop until you've stolen their heart. Fuck up once in a relationship just to experience the emotions from it, to try and struggle and feel sooo much better that you've overcame this barrier once you make amens with eachtother. Plus the makeup sex is awsome! But don't makeup until you've stood in the rain at two am telling her (or him) you love them. And mean it.
Laugh, live, and have fun. Love, above all.
From the tiniest of insects and even bacteria, and even furthur still, cells, to the largest living thing on the planet--the blue whale--one thing is unavoidable; death. It could happen at any time to anyone or anything. And because of that fact, I'm learning more and more to appreciate every single little thing that I can, because in a moment it's gone, and everything that you love disappears.