[Unknown]

Im so tired...so exausted.
Listen to this, for three years now, I've loved Niky. Niky was my world. I met her when she was with her ex-boyfriend Chad. He stomped on her heart, made her feel what it's like to burn. And every day, I would get home from work, and I would listen contently for hours on end about her and her ex-boys problems, and I would sit there and try to help her. I was a shoulder to cry on. But all along, I knew I loved her, but Im not the type of person to break apart a couple, no matter how fucked up they were. I would always make her feel better...always, even though the boy was just using her for sex. I was on the phone when she tried to commit suicide with a fucking knife... He left her, and she tried to kill herself, and at this point I had my license suspended. So see, Im flipping out trying to get to her house. I called up my boy Green to go get her. He got her on his cell and coaxed her out of it. I was always with her through thick and fucking thin. I would always tell her how I felt, how I loved her, and she brushed me off like I was some dude trying to pick her up at a bar, BUT I was still always there for her.
One night, we got drunk at her party, and she took me to the stairs away from the crowd and asked me why I was always there for her when she needed someone the most, and I looked at her and told her its because I loved her, and I always would. And a single tear rolled down her left cheek. I wiped it away, trying to hide my own watering eyes. I kissed her softly and told her that I would always be there for her. ALWAYS. She slowly went to undo her pants, and I grabbed her arm and asked "Is this really what you want?" she closed her eyes and nodded softly, and we comtinued to have one of the most passionate experiances I had ever had.
The next day when I saw her, I came up to her and she seemed to look away. I didnt know if she was upset, and thought I had taken advantage of her being drunk or what, so I left her alone for the time being. I went home and called her, asking if she wanted to come over for the day on Valentines day. She said that she respected me, but that day reminded her of Chad who she was still in love with her. So, I was a gentleman about it and said that was fine, maybe we could hang out some other time.
Throughout the next couple of months, I was a good friend of hers. I was always talking with her, and trying to be the type of person she wanted. She always rejected me and brushed my love away. I tried harder, and harder...I never gave up on her.
Last night, while I was at a friends openhouse, she showed up and introduces me to her new boyfriend, Kevin. Nice guy actually, I had nothing against him, but I started acting like an asshole to her. She asked me for a cigarette, and I told her to go get some from somewhere else. She tried hugging me, I grabbed her shoulder and pushed her back. I wasn't pissed, just extremely frustrated, that I was always there for her trying to be all that I could for her, and one day, she goes out, meets a guy and hooks up.
Tonight, she calls me up at 3 in the morning and asked what was up with me the other night, I just told her the truth. She asked what I truely felt about her, and I told her...The past three years, I've always been there for her. And whenever I bring up my feelings for her, she seems to ignore them. And I asked her why she could never give me a distinct YES or NO, she always had to beat around the bush on the subject. She said she was sorry, but whatever answer I wanted from her, I couldn't have, because she was with Kevin now, and was happy.
I just told her that she was one hell of a playa, she had me wrung around her damn finger for years. And she told me she was sorry, and she knew I loved her. I told her no, I shouldn't have fallen in love with her in the first place. If she only knew what love was. She said she knew what love was and it was the worst thing ever. And I finally told her the truth about Chad...I told her that Chad never LOVED her...He USED her. With that note she hung up, but first she blurts out the sentence "Joe...Never call me, never talk to me, never even look me in the eye again."
Morale of the story. Im done with women, and I'll be damned if I let another one rip my heart out.

Now I need a cigarette. Peace out.