[bkadoctaj]

Originally Posted by Curiouser

i was diagnosed with depression with schizoid tendencies 3 years ago, and was on medication for a while.

its a very hard line to walk, what i'm about to say, so i'd ask you and anyone else to take everything i say with many grains of salt.

for me, such a diagnosis and the experience of such 'medicine' was very helpful. through such kind of societal insistence, i was able to experience exactly the type of 'cure' i knew was a lie. that doesnt' mean medication and such diagnoses are inherently lies; rather, the experience of attempting to live while undergoing these things was a lie. i mean to say, i wouldn't know what i can't stand to be without such an experience, and such an experience was for me extremely necessary.

on the other hand. the experience of medicine and societal pressures forcibly controling what i "should be thinking" wasn't just an example of how i shouldn't be in relationship to myself, but in its helplessness and failure, was an example of the possibilities of the ground i have. being "out of control" in that sense made me realize very precisely and in an exact manner how flimsy our notions of control are.

all i want to say is, be very careful. despite how infinitely wide the path to truthfulness is, on an individual basis it gets narrower and narrower. if you're willing to be honest with yourself, you'll trust the results of your honesty. but those results could very well be extremely painful as well as extremely joyous: remember that the path remains.

Bingo. Absolute and relative bingo!