Originally Posted by eldude-arino  Well, for starters, it's not cockiness woman are attracted to, it's confidence. There is a difference. Taking the advice you've read and going against your stated core values (morals) would be the worst thing to do. It may work for a while, but soon enough you'll be confused as to whether the people you're attracting (new friends or females) like you for the "front" you've put up or actually like you for you.
My best advice is to just be yourself (as cliché as it sounds).... if that means you meet a girl at a party and you feel uncomfortable talking to her in your current surroundings tell her so and ask if she'd like to step outside. Or, if you're not at a party and the scenario doesn't allow you to leave, ask if you can call her sometime and finish the convo... or better yet, take her out (coffee, lunch, whatever) and continue.
Be courageous, you'll never get anywhere if you see a girl you're attracted to but let your nerves keep you from approaching her. That's where confidence comes in, if you have the confidence and composure to walk across a food court at the mall and introduce yourself then you've already "proven" yourself in her eyes.
Let's say you shuffle across said café, hands in pockets, looking at the ground or have darting glances all over the place.... this doesn't exude confidence. Thus, you've already given her all the reason she needs to think you aren't worthy of her. Now, if you were to compose yourself as you walk over, make eye contact (w/o staring), have good posture (shoulders back, head held up), have a deliberate gate, she'll be far more interested in finding out who you or listening to what you have to say. She'll feel your confidence.
If you should see a girl in the mall, book store, library, wherever (I'd keep it to somewhere you won't likely run in to her often) that you find attractive, practice this... if you get shot down, seriously, who cares!?! The likelihood of you marrying a random girl you meet in the mall is slim to none, but you'll start to see what it feels like to break out of your shell and ignore your inhibitions. If you're there with your friends and they give you shit for not getting a number, laugh with 'em and when they start to let it die, prod them back.... shrug your shoulders at 'em and say "at least I've got the balls to go after what I want"... not in an asshole way, just a matter of fact tone of voice. If you DO get the number, find out when she'll be available and if that works for you let her know you'll call the day before to make the plans. |