[dcuthell]

fast eddie you inspire me. i'm on day two of absolute sobriety (no cigarettes, no booze, no ganj, no amphetamines, no blow, no mdma, no hallucinogens, no hookers [always the hardest to give up]), and i am overwhelmed with how wonderfully aware i am of everything around me. This is not a good thing. My blissful "fuck it" attitude has quickly turned to a "go fuck yourself" attitude. i yell at people who annoy me instead of ignoring them. i pace around the apartment, desperate for a cigarette or a sip of J&B. I bagged up the last two ounces of the M39, and as i broke up a nice 5g nug, i looked at my trembling fingers, sticky from the nugget and damp from my tears. last night it took me an hour to fall asleep, and i must have woken up five times shaking and sweating. I can't remember the last time I took one full sober day, and I am certain that the last two full sober days occured in august 2007.
Brave sir, I need your words of encouragement during these dark, dark times.