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Fuck Life
Alright so I have OCD and bi-polar, which leads to anger management problems and severe depression. I don't usually take out my anger on other people, but I've destroyed a lot of my possessions and if I don't let it out I just get more depressed.
I have tried to kill myself a few times before, but other than all these issues, I seem to be a pretty normal kid. I am an 18 y/o HS senior. I am a pretty good athlete and a good student and I get along with people pretty well. However, I am really depressed. A few years ago, I started smoking. It worked really well. For once in my life I wasn't depressed and was happy and at peace of mind.
However, my parents then found my stash and called the cops. My parents are pricks, I know. So now I am on diversion and get drug tested. I have already failed one after testing clean. I do not know what to do. Ever since I stopped smoking, I get so depressed and cannot deal with it like I used to.
I mean, I don't like to depend on drugs, but MJ just made me so happy and I didn't abuse it and it had no negative effects on me and then it gets all fucked up. Now I think about suicide all the time.
I don't understand.
Life's a bitch and then we die, that's why we get high cuz you never know when you're gonna go.
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