[mikelosxx]

okay. i think this was my second time smoking salvia. i was with my friend ryan at the house of a friend of his. i was somewhat unfamiliar with the place.

in the bowl:
one-third weed, two-thirds salvia. it's in a purple plastic self-sealing dish.
Purple Sticky Salvia, it boasts in silver swirly letters. 15X.

i was smoking it first. one hit. hold in. hold.. hold... blow.
two hit. hold in.. hold.. hoOO!OO!@@$%@$


my body starts to feel like it's being attacked by its nerve receptors.
half of me is in another place. the back of me is.
i hear lots of things, but i don't pay them any attention because i am preoccupied with a series of strange thoughts, which seem to only be a loop of the same thoughts, only disturbed by communication. i don't understand what they're saying, and i don't know what i'm saying as i feel stuck between two realities.

the one behind me is outside. all i am in this moment is two people experiencing the same thing. i am conscious of being someone else, somewhere else. in that reality, i get a mental picture of a guy pressing himself up against the fabric of space and time, or whatever. but he's like, a three-dimensional person. and he's seeing what i'm seeing, and i'm seeing what he's seeing.

in little chinks, you see this reality, then that one, then the line in between and a little of both.

i felt a female holding my leg, pulling me. i was outside. grass. a truck. someone going to the door of it. the girl pulling my leg, like pulling me into that reality.
all this in a second.

back to ryan. i'm trying to hand him the bowl. i don't know what i'm saying, but it doesn't make any sense. word salad.

to the line between realities. someone there is saying something. i don't know what. and i don't respond. i don't know how to.

back to ryan. i'm passing him something else. i don't know why, or what happened between the time i was handing him the bowl, and when i was handing him whatever this is. he's asking what? what? what, mike? my response is unconscious, involuntary word salad.

back to that place. just feel the cold night air.

to the line, right in front of my face. it's like i'm wearing the fabric of space/time/reality as a mask. a diving mask. no. a whole wet-suit. that's how it feels. but only on the front half of that place and only on the back half of this reality.

as i come back to this reality, i give what i perceive to be mean glares at ryan. i don't know if i was or not, but that's how i felt. i couldn't stop giving him these mean glares.
i come back a little more. part of me yearns to go back to that place. the rest of me is so afraid of that place. scared to death. i come back a little more. i feel the horrible body buzz i've come to associate with salvia. my own touch receptors are attacking me. it wears down some. now it just feels strange. a loop-glitch pulsating feeling. it's not bad now. just really strange.

as i come back to this reality more and more, and become less and less afraid of permanent damage to my psyche, i start to feel stupid and afraid of how i had acted when i was in that state.

i've done it a few other times since then.
it always hits so hard so fast with nothing subtle about it, and my trips don't integrate like when i drop doses. so it can be a frightening experience if you're not ready for it.