[newtosmoking]

So say I've smoked about three times. Twice from a bong, once from a bowl. And it's weird, because the experience I have smoking pot is totally different from how it is portrayed in entertainment/what others describe. People brush pot off as being so harmless and fun, so I was really surprised when I freaked the first time I smoked it.

I can tell when it hits me, because first I get a sense of everything "flipping" (ex. if a chair was on the right side of the room, I suddenly feel like it's on the left). At that point it's like my existence splits in two, and now I'm in the "high world" instead of the "real world." Everything feels so dream-like, to the point where I constantly question if I am hallucinating (even though I'm not). I begin to mishear and misinterpret things people say, thinking they are all talking and laughing about how weird I am when I'm high. And then I start to question their motives for doing and saying things in the "real world," too, and I start to wonder if it's the real world that is a dream and the high world that is real...

I get nervous and feel like I'm going to go crazy any second.

The first time I got high, I kept talking about how it felt like a dream, how I must be in a movie or a story, and how everyone was "characters" and how each event was like a scene. How it was like a choose your own adventure, and I didn't know who to trust or where to go. I felt like if I did or said the wrong thing, something terrible would happen, probably because I thought I was hallucinating and that for all I knew I was wandering in a field somewhere imagining everything. I ended up just telling myself that if I closed my eyes and just sat still, it would all be over. My heart was pounding the whole time, going so fast, like a heart attack. All of this really freaked out my friends, of course.

The second and third times the same feelings repeated themselves, but I knew that everything that was happening was real because I knew what to expect. Because I had to be overly calm to keep myself from freaking out, everyone just thinks pot just makes me really relaxed and chill.

Does THC just have a weird effect on me? Does it have a similar effect on anyone else? I did it so many times because I thought it must have been the pot that was strange, maybe laced with something, or, I don't know...but now I think I am probably going to give up on it if this is what it's like to get high...