[PinkGoo]

Originally Posted by Foop

My first time happened when I was 16 years old. Staying in Tuscany at the peak of the summer season at this little Italian villa. The manager of the place had a trophy wife who was around 35-40 and two young scum bag Italian guido sons. I met the two sons that morning as they were packing up their BMW with drugs to make a circuit around the Italian beaches selling everything under the sun to American tourists. I bought some ecstasy, acid and some really shitty weed off them.

That night as everyone tucked in for the night, I dropped the E down and a gram or two of the mushrooms, grabbed my papers and ran out to the pool to have a nice joint or 3. As I was lounging out in the pool chair sucking down my second joint, the manager's trophy wife came walking out. It was dark out so I did not see her till she was almost upon me so I chucked my joint as far away as possible and tried to act cool. She walks up, gives me a smile, whips off her top and lounges in the chair next to me.

Me being the virgin awkward American tourist I am, I have to question the scene infront of me, the conversation went something like this (don't expect my memory to be able to regurgitate verbatim).

"Ummmm, hey there, what are you doing?"

"Sun bathing."

"It's pitch black and a full moon, I'd love to hear the Italian secret behind night time tanning."

"Share some of that bag under your chair with me and I'll share all my secrets."

Long story short, we had sex in the pool for 10 minutes until I got a horrible cramp, we moved up onto the grass behind a tree and finished there. I limped back inside clutching my side and could not sleep the rest of the night.

Buuuullshit.