[pj12345]

When i was 11 years old my dad died in the world trade center which made me very depressed and not social. I didn't feel like i fit in to that school anymore after his death and it led to 3 more years of misery, pain, and not talking to anyone besides one or 2 friends that i had. I decided when I was 14 that i wanted to go to a different high school not linked to that middle school to get a fresh new start and make a lot of new friends and start my new life. I went to A catholic high school with my, at the time best friend, and it seemed like everything was going very smoothly. About two months into the school year, i hated it, had no friends @ the school besides the one kid, and it was just getting worse. To try and fit in i made fun of this one kid a lot and i quess i made fun of him so much that he told the principle that i squeezed his leg which never happened. I had to talk to the school cop and my mom and her boyfriend and me had to sign a sexual harassment form and if it happened again i would get kicked out. Everyone knew about the sexual harrasment thing and I was made fun of 10 times worse than ever. Everyday during lunch someone would throw food @ me etc.... I didn't defend myself because i didn't want to get in trouble again and my mom said if anyone ever messes with you just dont talk to them and ignore them.

A couple months later Im sitting in class with my laptop ( everyone in our school has laptops) and this kid made fun of me for no reason. I told the kid if he didnt shut up i would hack his computer. I didn't know how to hack computers and the principle found out what i said and took my laptop away for 2 months. All of your hw is done on your laptop so my grades started to struggle. I tried out for the baseball because i was pretty good and made it. ( I didn't make any of the middle school teams because the coach told my mom that since another kid in our school father died in 9/11 they couldn't take me because the other kid would think its unfair) I played baseball that whole season and my best friend who was also on the team played. I was one of the best players on that team and i was the designated hitter when should have been starting. My friend was the only catcher and was a starter and he played. He made fun of me of how i was always sitting the bench and eventually led to us hating each other. I talked to my mom about going to another high school and i decided to go to the high school that i would have gone to if i didnt go to the catholic one.

So im 16 years old and going to the public school and things were getting better. My mom remarried to a guy that i like very much and is very nice. So his nephew at the weeding bought up the subject of marijuna. So the next time he was over my house we decided to smoke it up in my pool house ( Im 16 and soph @ the time and hes 18 senior in hs going to Albany ) I liked it a lot and wanted to smoke all the time. A couple of months later i finally did it again but this time i bought a half ounce which lasted me prob a month by myself. I had no idea about weed and i only smoked a joint a day for 1 month and it was gone. In my heart i always felt that it was necessary to tell my parents everything so i told her that i tried it. She didn't think it was the end of the world but she never wanted me to do it again. ( my step dad thought the same) . My mom has never smoked weed in her whole life and my step dad has only done it 2 or 3 times. After that conversation i still ended up smoking because i liked it so much and i didn't think my parents would care that much. Going into my junior year of hs still smoking all the time and my parents have no idea. Im 17 years old things are going well have 4 to 5 friends i hang out with and im still smoking a lot.

My parents go to Aruba for a week and my grandma is watching me for 1 week and my 2 younger sisters. (my grandmas son was a hardcore druggie and ruined a big part of his life which made her be 100 % against it) . I was sitting in my house and i figured out my sister smoked cigs so i asked her if she wanted to go outside and and ill smoke weed while she smokes a cig. We told our grandma that we were going to drop off her tenis racket @ her friends. My grandma must have got worried so she drove down the road and looked for us. We ran into the house and i was high as hell. I went into my room and my grandma smelled me which eventually led to my parents finding out and figuring out that ive only smoked once. I get grounded for 2 months which meant i couldnt do much. After that day i promised myself i would never smoke again because i wanted my parents to trust me. During superbowl, my close family friends came over. One of the girls that i was friends with wanted to smoke so we decided to smoke for a little. None of us had a lighter so we took the long torch lighter from the draw. 1 hour later my mom comes up to me telling me how the lighter smells like weed. ( Caught again didn't get in trouble this time smelled it because lighting a birthday cake) 2 months Later still smoking i finally give in and tell them that im done forever and give them all of the weed that i had on me because i really wanted them to trust me b/c we have such a good relationship.

Yesterday April 5,2008 my friends wanted to smoke so i caved in and did it after not doing it for 2 months. ( I wasn't peer pressured to smoke , i just love it ) The reason i said everything was to get you guys to know a gist of my life and figure out as many ways as i can to talk my parents into letting me smoke. I'm nervous that i will be tested tonight or tommarow night so i just need ways to convince them to let me smoke.

- Thank you for reading ( Dank Buds for Life )