[Blutteufel]

As if being baked as hell wasn't fun enough, trying to have a normal conversation with another stoned person can be endlessly entertaining. We all know at least one person that's hilarious to talk to, whether it's just him, you or both that's been tokin'. For example, the guy that lives in the apartment right below me goes completely fucking insane when he gets good and baked, and talks about all kinds of twisted and outrageously funny philosophical and political shit, and the scary part is that later, if you think about what he said, it makes sense. Sometimes it's not easy to remember what happened, and in fact the only things I did remember from the other night of blazing with my friend Chris and some guy named JC he knew from work were the fucked up conversations we had.

I sometimes write down these conversations if I can remember enough of their contents, and I was lucky to remember these last two, because like I said, they are all I remember. They both happened within one hour, talking to the same guy.

The first one went something like this:

Me: This is some pretty good shit, man. I'm runnin' dry, but can I get a 20 bag off you? My wallet is at home but I'll pay you tomorrow and shit.
Chris: ....
Chris: What?
Me: What?
Me: I want to buy a bag of weed
Chris: Oh...oh, OK. How much you need?
JC: ....
Me:....
Me: A 20 bag
Chris: Alright. *Starts weighing some shit out from his stash*
JC: *Tokes, says something fucked up about Hilary Clinton's nipples*
Chris: *Puts the two grams into the bowl and starts smoking it*
Me: What the fuck?
Chris: Eh?
JC: ....
Me: You just smoked the weed I was about to buy, bitch
Chris: Oh, what the hell?
Me: ....
Chris: Ok, I'll get some more *starts toking more, then packs aanother bowl*
Me & JC: What the fuck?
Chris: Oh my God....
Me: ....
JC: ....
Chris: ....
Me: Dude, just try again....
Chris: What?
Me: Gimme some fuckin' grass!

At that point, we all started laughing until we couldn't breathe. He finally got it weighed and bagged, though. We just neded to get the damn bong out of his sight.

The next one happened about 40 minutes later when I decided I was going to buy some more of his funky ass chronic. More failure ensued:

Me: Well, half the 20 is gone, I need to buy some more
JC: You don't even have any money
Me: Not on me, but it's back at my place and he knows it
Chris: Yeah. How much do you need?
Me: I wanna get a half ounce of this shit
Chris: Damn, don't have that much. I can sell you some 1/4s, though
JC: ....
Me: ....
Chris: ....
Me: Then give me a 1/2
Chris: Dude, I just said I only have 1/4s
Me: ....What the hell?
Chris: What!?
JC: You're fucking stoned
Chris: Yeah?
Me: Two 1/4s make a half, numbnuts
Chris: ....
Chris: Oh yeah.....
Me: Boy, you done smoked yourself retarded

So damn funny when this stuff happend, and it's on an almost daily basis for me. What kind of shit goes down for you guys?