[LiftedOne86]

Hey yall, havent been posting much because I am really taking a drastic effort to change my life. I have quit pot, alcohol, cigs and even junk food! Basically I feel like my potential is so great that now is the time to get serious about my life and I feel that there is no other way to do that right now then having as clear a head as possible. Anyway I wrote this recently and submitted it to erowid but I would also like to share it with you guys. The trip itself happened about 4 years ago when I was 17. I am not the best writer but I think its good enough . Its long but I think its a pretty cool story to share and can give you some ideas (and warnings) on what to expect from this strange, extremely powerful and for some reason legal substance.




I had gotten into smoking pot my freshman year of high school and I was in love. Before then I never, ever considered using drugs. I mean they do a great job of scareing you but once I reached high school it was different. A few weeks in I made a couple friends and they told me how much fun it could be. Much more willing to take the advice of a few buddies then a DARE officer I said what the hell and had the craziest experience of my life. I was hooked, and in a good way. It was great.

This single experience led me to want to try other things. Even though I promised myself I wouldnt try anything other then weed and alcohol that soon changed. After all how much worse could coke, heroin and ecstacy be? The more people I met that did those things the more I realized not much. I got into painkillers and found them to be a whole lot of fun, they made you feel incredible and although they didnt have the fun effects on the mind pot did, the made you feel even better. Around this time I started to read about shrooms and LSD and decided I had to try it. I was starting to get older and as we know during the teen years your at a great risk of becoming arrogant, narcissitic whatever. Basically you WILL hate who you were during that time lol. I know that I really dislike who I was then but it lead me to DXM and one of the most unforgettable experiences of my entire life.

I was ready to test myself, see how far my brain could take me and if I could handle it. I decided I was and one night at a friends house, without any drugs I brought this up. He seemed interested, he was a lot like me during this time, and we did a bit of reading. Alternate realites, hallucinations and communication with aliens?? Heh ok WE ARE IN!!! We went to the store and bought 2 bottles of Robotussin, 8 ounces each. As we walked back we talked about how much fun we were about to have and if we were really ready for it. Well who we were at that time would have prevented us from admitting we were scared or unsure we wanted to experience this. It was a go, we were doing it. Little did I know exactly what would happen that night.

We chugged the terrible tasting liquid and got ready for what promised to be a wild ride. We waited and waited and waited, nothing. Hours went by and we didnt feel anything. We even considered taking more (which would have been a HUGE mistake) and were really upset at how the night was turning out. Then it hit, wow. We started to feel very strange and the funny thing about DXM is it seems like there is no peak. It just keeps getting more and more intense. The first hour or so wasnt spectacular although we began to feel very strange. Very calm, peaceful almost like taking a bunch of vicodins. We were on his couch talking about how crazy it was, how gradually we were becoming more "fucked up" then we ever had been before.

Then it started, what I will never forget and probaly one of the most fun experiences EVER....the closed eye hallucinations. This is probaly the biggest reason I wanted to do it, because I had heard you could have dreams whenever you closed your eyes. It was just breathtaking. Every time a new vision awaited me. What was most incredible was how real it was, if I let myself get deep into them it was no different then real life. What I saw and felt was REAL. No Different from reality. I still cant get over it years later. Each dream was entirely different then the next. One minute I would be in a house I had never seen before, the next frightening visions of evil aliens and their hover crafts. Pyramids with complex patterns and hyeroglphics, myself in a hot air ballon over San Franciso with Spider Man? Nothing was out of the question and I enjoyed every second of it. I cannot stress enough how real it was, just as real as when you wake in the morning. IT WAS REAL and it was just amazing.

Now some problems started to arise. Apparently I had taken too much for my weight and was having trouble walking, I was glued to his couch for hours. I could stand up but walking was just an impossibility. As was going to the bathroom or even taking a sip of water. I just couldnt do it. Now this went on for about 8 hours straight and started to ruin the trip to me because it was getting more intense. It also doesnt help that on DXM, time comes to a complete stop. I handled the trip perfect but I started to get worried as I was so much more messed up then my buddy. Granted he weighed more but he was able to walk and go to the bathroom, I mean those things were just alien to me at that time.

Hours in and the visuals were still there but I started to get worried. Was I in trouble??? Why was I reacting so differently then my pal? I really feel I was near death that night because at one point I passed out for 20 minutes. They only thing I remember from that time was being in the presence of a very powerful force which simply said "You are not supposed to die this way" then I awoke. My friend looked shocked and a couple days later he said he thought I had died..... WOW. I tried my best to enjoy it as the hours went by but not being able to walk,drink or piss started to take its toll. He went to sleep and there I remained, in my own mind. I never panicked, never got scared or experienced what I could call a bad trip (which ive never had in my life) but it was intense. I actually managed to fall asleep but was really in the grips of, well ill call it "controlled insanity" I was still me, still in control, well as much as as I could be. I was under my blanket and would go into different hallucinations. Like Id be under there, in the darkness and see a litttle vision which I would then go into and experience that reality, hallucination whatever you want to call it. It was crazy!!!! Sometimes I would dream about a kid who had ruined his life by taking DXM. You know that feeling you get when you wake up from a nightmare and think "Pfewww it was just a dream" well Id awake and be confronted by my reality. It was tough to say the least. I really believe I could have died, or went insane that
night if I wasnt as strong as I was mentally.

The morning came and I was still very messed up although I now could walk, albeit like a robot heh. My friend was sooooooo fucked up still and wasnt able to acompany my on the half hour drive back to my house......in which his dad would be taking me. Damn I thought this is it I am screwed but I kept my cool the best I could. As I walked to the car I held on to anything I could and tried my best not to look like I was on drugs. My speech was also affected so I pretended to fall asleep. I knew if he engaged in any sort of conversation with me the jig was up. It worked though and when I got home I realized how lucky I was although I was still trashed. I called my friend and asked him if he was still as blasted as me and he said "um no.." I asked if I was in trouble, should I go to the hospital? Well he asked his dads girlfriend, refering to someone else obviously, and she told him my brain might be fried or something to that effect. God damnit I couldnt believe it but at that point permanent mental retardation started to infiltrate my thoughts. I did what every kid dreads, I called my mom told her what I had done and she took me to the hospital.

Once I was there I made peace with my situation. I had really done it now. I had taken to much DXM and now I had to pay the price. I would never be the same, haunted by hallucinations and weird feelings for the rest of my life. I told my mom "Its ok, these things happen, ill live in our basement and become a writer dont worry" Just casual like that you know? Jesus.... Ill never forget what I put her through that day and I still feel terrible about it. I mean thats something that ill remember for the rest of my life, I thought I had permenantly damaged my brain and would never be the same and I accepted it. Wow its just incredible to think about it now and I cannot imagine what my mother felt.

Well finally the doctor came to see me and told me everything would be allright. She said I had taken a very powerful drug and it would take some time to wear off but I would be ok. The most beautiful words of my life.

I went home after they said it was safe for me to leave and experienced the closed eye visuals untill I finally passed out. Strangely enough 24 hours in was when I started to experience open eye visuals, akin to a very intense shroom trip. But by that time it didnt phase me, I had gone through the most traumatic but at the same time the most eye opening experience of my life, and I would never be the same......but for the better. I learned so much that night not only about myself but about life. What I learned I really believe you cannot get from a lifetime of experience. Being near death will do that to you.

All in all I have never regretted that night, for it taught me soooo much. What exactly its hard to describe, but it gave me the confidence to believe I could overcome anything.

My advice is DXM, like all psychadelics is something that is NOT to be taken lightly. Do your research and dont make the same mistake I did, do not take more then you can handle. I weighed 155 pounds and 8 ounces was enough to do this to me so as you may or may not allready know you have got to get into these things slowly. In the end it may save your life. Be smart and have fun but remember the main reason to do these things isint to get "fucked up" its to learn as much as you can about yourself and life. You will come out a better person, if you can handle it.
Peace and Good Luck.