Before I start, I have to say, this is only for MATURE adults.
Hey guys
I guess I'll start this thread off by asking the question, are you addicted? I think to some extent we all as smokers are partially addicted, with the true statement that it is not the substance that makes an addict and infact the person, I also believe there also is a strong corrolation between irritation, trouble sleeping, and marijuana. Although these are some of the lighter affects it has personally done on me.
Before I continue I'd like to boldly state that my family is 100% AGAINST the use of marijuana.
Over the course of the past few months I have really started to think about how marijuana has affected me, and my family. It has been a very long time since I have clearly noticed tyhe upsetting affects of this. Hrm, I really dont know where to start. My whole family believes I was an addict to marijuana, and because of this, I have seen the rapid depressing affects and stress this has had on my family, especially my parents. Since my family comes from a very morally strict background(South African, English), there was always a sense of strictness I felt that all my friends never felt back when I was younger. Around the age of 16 my parents had me in by 8 30 on school nights, and 10 30 on weekends. Normally I was always on time and never tardy, but one night I came home 45 minutes late, stoned, and remember my dad opening the front door before I had a chance to, and screaming at me to come inside. Now THIS was when I realized how much more strict my parents were then others. I had always accustomed myself to other people's family rules, more specifically my friends whose parents lead a more relaxed method of raising their child. That age though, 16, was a very bad year for me. My parents had switched me to a private school because of my use of marijuana, they had also switched me friends quite a bit by banning many of my friends I had wanted over to be allowed in my parents home.
There are many reasons, which I do not want to go into, why my parents always had the more strict approach.
I remember around that time hearing my mom crying about how addicted I am to "drugs" and stuff. And I dont know how to explain it, but it really puts a wound in you. It is very hard to explain, but ever since then I have been aching inside. At one time, my mother said she got 3 out of 4 kids right, me being the black sheep.
Ive realized now the damaging affects I put unto my family. The most ironic part, however, was that I can guarentee anyone that I wouldnt have been addicted if there was no strong belief that addiction exists in marijuana. So in reality, it was my parents strong ideals and beliefs that lead me into the position I was in, addiction, or so I theorize.
The other problem was that, at that age in my life, I was very vulnerable. The more my parents cried about my addiction, the more I wanted to get high. It really is quite funny how there is such a vicious demonized cycle. It's also quite humourous to comprehend the fact that morals establish good from bad, yet a persons strong moral belief lead to someone in a such a bad position.
Now, it was not like I did coke or anything like that back in my highschool days, but marijuana was a very big part of my life.
How I got into such an emotionally challenging position, I dont know. And when a kid normally smokes pot, the person just smokes pot, and lives the same. But I guess I was one of those kids who's position was an anomolly.
To be honest, my family hasn't really been the same since I was 16. Although I cannot fully put the blame onto myself for this change, as there were other problems they encountered. But those problems weren't to the same affect as the problem they had with me, pot.
A few years back, I even wrote an essay on addiction, how social and environmental factors are the most crucial factor of addiction, or in luckier cases, lack thereof.
Feel free to e-mail me if you would like to read it. Although it is 11 pages.
To end this all I have to say that not everyone in my position would get addicted, clearly, but I believe that having an addictive quality like I do and being in the position I was in led me to be in thats aweful position.
I guess I wrote this just because I felt the need to open up, maybe clear the innate melancholy I have been experiencing for a very long time.
But on the subject, are you addicted? (whether its emotionally mentally or physically[i dont believe anyone could be physically addicted, that has to do with the substance and not the environment, i.e. tobacco])
p.s. it reall took alot for me to write this so hopefully you can be respectful
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Thankyou for your time and for reading this.