[chipcago]

I'm just bumping all the really cool threads tonight.

Anyways.

Indoor session:


1. For a wake and bake, turn the shower and fan on. It offers good noise protection. If you're going in the afternoon, just the fan should suffice, you're just taking a poo. Just be sure that no one is within earshot.

2. Toss a towel under the bathroom Door.

3. Open the window up, quietly.

4. Have your bowl already pre-loaded. Fumbling with nuggets in the bathroom isn't good, who knows what could happen.

5. Spark up! Light the bowl, inhale big and deep. Hold in, do whatever you do. Blow out the window, preferably using a well-made sploof.

6. Don't set your bowl down inside after your hit. Hold the bowl to the window. Don't burn a hole in the screen, however, this is suspicious.

Warning: If you feel like you're getting a headrush, set your glass and lighter down somewhere were they will not be immediately seen by someone walking in. Quickly. Headrush can result in blacking out and injury. If you feel a headrush coming on, set your stuff down and sit on the toilet until it passes.

7. Finish up your bowl, repeating steps 5 and 6. If you want to smoke another bowl in a little while, and chill out for now, set your stash deep into a drawer, or to be safe, in your normal stash spot.

8. If you have air freshener, good. Spray a few sprays of it. Shut the window, and make sure you have all of your things hidden.

9. Put 1 or 2 drops of Visine or Clear-Eyes into each eye. Chew a piece of gum or pop a breathmint.

10. DON'T EAT MUNCHIES IMMEDIATELY, And when you do, don't eat a ton at a time. This is how one of my friends got caught. We finished our last bowl, went upstairs to chill in his room and listen to music, and he went downstairs, and put like 30 pizza rolls in the microwave. His mom, suspicious, looked in his eyes (he didn't have visine) saw that they were red, and smelled his breath. I, fortunately, didn't get caught, because when he told me he did, I shoved about 10 pieces of gum in my mouth. When she asked to smell my breath, I blew out, and she noted "A lot of gum." I'm like "Are you accusing me?" She's like "No." And in my head, i'm like 'yesss...'

11. Don't put your desire to get high in front of your risk of getting caught.

12. Have fun, and enjoy your high. Try not to talk too little or too much around parents. Try to think of how you'd normally be acting in that situation, and do your best to act that way. Don't try too hard. What I'm saying is, don't take a nap when you woke up at noon and normally wouldn't be napping, and don't act like you just slugged down 3 coffees. Try and hit that middle-ground.


Outdoor session.

1. Should be late at night. If it's broad daylight out, and you have neighbors, see "Indoor session."

2. Parents should be asleep.

3. Make sure all windows in the vicinity of your smoking area are closed.

4. Take your stuff outside onto the back deck.

5. Hit it. Blow away from the house.

6. Repeat 5 until cashed.

7. Chill. Come slowly inside. If you have a dog, great, the door opening was you letting him out. Don't make too much noise, but don't try to act sneaky, as it can raise suspicion.

8. If you're very paranoid that your parents are going to come check on you, chew some gum, have a beverage. Put visine in.

9. Have fun. This is slightly easier than the indoor session, and requires less preparation, however, the light from the lighter is fucking bright in the dead of night. If you're smoking with a buddy, have him cover the lighter, both for wind protection and containing the light.