[AK Infinity]

Originally Posted by the_pirate

I wasn't really sure where to post this, but here's my problem.

I quit smoking a few months ago and have been clean since. But i can tell that somethings wrong with me. I've been very depressed, to the point where i think about suicide just about every night. I don't know what it is, but it seems like reality isn't real anymore, like it's all just a dream or my imagination. I have realationship problems with just about all of my friends, my parents and most everyone i meet. I don't know what's wrong with me, and i don't know what to do about it. Any suggestions about the topic are greatly appreciated.

It sounds like you're hurting bro. And though many have been where you're at, pain and disconnection can be a very solitary experience. Do you have anyone in your life to talk to about how you feel, and if not are you opposed to the idea of reaching out to someone? Issues like the one you are having, aren't like a skin condition that eventually clears up on its own. Sometimes a helping hand is needed as support until you can see the light at the end of the tunnel on your own. You wouldn't have started this thread if you’d given up completely so I encourage you to open up to someone around you.

Also let me say, get those thoughts of suicide out of your head. Life is too beautiful bro to be thrown away when times are tough. You aren't an island and as desperate as it seems right now you're still connected to your parents, and your friends. Hang on and try to open up to them. It may be the hardest thing you ever do and they may not understand initially but let them know how you're feeling. Your folks would want to know--trust me--because you’re their child and though it may not seem like they understand you, your pain is their pain.

Marijuana is medicine and its removal can be a very traumatic experience physically and psychologically. I don't know why you quit but did you feel better when you smoked? How much did you smoke and how often?

Lastly bro, hang in there because it won't feel like this forever. Never take a present moment and assume the rest of your life will be the same, the future is what you make it. Learning to think positive is a daily struggle because you're constantly fighting against the old messages your brain used to tell you. Be persistent and stay focused on the positive.

You're in my prayers bro.

"The road that is built in hope is more pleasant to the traveler than the road built in despair, even though they both lead to the same destination."

~Marian Zimmer Bradley~

Stay green.